You need to be comfortable with who you are. If you have solution, you are God for me:(. I have thought about leaving, but I'm afraid it would devastate her, and I truthfully don't know that she would survive it. The specific mention of medication but not therapy makes me wonder whether your girlfriend is in therapy. Any thoughts or suggestions would be sincerely appreciated. The text is most likely a part of an image, then. Shes most likely cheating already, I mean think about their history as if the ex hasnt tried to make a move on her. I feel for all of you guys! If I talk in a neutral tone or raise my voice even slightly she says I am scary and becomes inconsolable. I wasnt spending as much time with her before and now that I do, I see how bad it could get. These are just a few questions you and your spouse should sit down and discuss together to see if you're on the same page financially. Dear M, If you would like to find a mental health professional for your girlfriend, you can start finding therapists in your area by entering your city or ZIP code into the search field on this page: https://www.goodtherapy.org/find-therapist.html. Youve been shouldering a significant burden on your own for years; it sounds like you are ready to let someone help you carry the load. Hugs. But you're dragging me down, yeah. I do not see a future with her but I get so torn up at the thought of leaving her to her depression and her situation, Im in the exact same situation as you gaz. It truly could be your relationship that's to blame. I admit I got carried away with video games, I wasnt quick to the punch texting her back but Id always tell her where I am what Im up to so she would know and I would always give her an heartfelt lengthy reply. She has to take control of her own mind if she ever wants to get better. I had a 3 month relationship with a depressed woman and it was comparable to a roller coaster ride at Disney land ups and downs it was beyond this world everything was my fault problems was created and misery was the icing on the cake. He has put me last every time. Copyright 2007 - 2023 GoodTherapy, LLC. Everything i could say would create a problem and everything was my fault. Good looking, good healthy cooking. Be found at the exact moment they are searching. Then she started talking that her family pressured her, about the meds and that she loved me, but had a really hard time. You create your own reality. My advice to anyone going through this with a depressed person is just call it off and move on. Obviously it isnt making her any happier as things are.. Good Luck!! Those are the moments you should be focusing on, that is the person that youre in a relationship with. Our arguments are born out of nothing, she wants me to do as she wishes and doesnt believe in personal space, family commitments, having ambitions and achievoing dreams. I almost lost my identity and values. During the relationship, she refused to be medicated or to be accompanied by a psychologist. Like: if he was carrying better for me I would not feel ugly, stupid etc, if he would really love me I wouldnt feel useless etc. There was a point in my life when it was obvious I needed to address my depression which exposed itself as anger and Ive been waiting 5 years for her to have the same epiphany. Imagine if you stay another couple years, get married, have children, then that person does the unspeakable after that? It is very sad when a very good man like me just happens to have very bad luck with women when i really shouldnt at all. There are so many ways a relationship can be unhealthy, and therefore so many ways it can drag you down. Like you rejecting the last possible form of understanding and connection. Ad by TruthFinder Have you ever googled yourself? But when you have a hobby, do make sure that you are always there for her when she needs you. Well i have a very depressed girlfriend that i am dating at this moment which i do really love her which she is always unhappy when i go over her house. I am having the same issue and the text is most definitely NOT part of an image. I am sometimes even tempted to leave her because she is holding me down (work/school). Im talking about Yeshua, the son of the God of Israel. Ive been with my girl for over 4 months now, but we have been good friends for more than 7 years. Because of my own childhood, and my moms depression as a kid, I reflexively push her away when she gets very depressed, and have trouble acknowledging what shes going through. (All is Hell) Nowadays, going to Youtube to watch movies and listen to music and entertainment is a daily necessity. somewhere inside you still know that too, its a natural instinct. Setup File Name: Adobe_Premiere_Pro_v23.2..69.rar. I still see him he wrote 2 suicide notes to me and his dad ( when I asked him to leave) and produced them for me to read. And do not try to help, just try to understand. She hates it when I get an attitude then why does she make me get into this attitude? But every day she is more and more far away from me. And if an argument crops up, it almost always goes smoothly (i.e., no screaming, or blaming, or anything horrible like that). Read the book co-dependent no more. She looks for a bit of comfort, wants some tea/cuddles and sex. I love her but I just think staying will be self destructive for me and just enabling to her. Im in a similar situation & it is making me crumble emotionally. I missed her, but she pushed me away and i got fed up from this. All I could do is be the best boyfriend a girl could have. I think this is the best for us at this time, as I read up in this thread I see a lot of pain caused to both people as time goes on and I dont want that to happen to either of us. It sounds like you have been a tremendous source of love, strength, and support for your girlfriend in her battle with depression. She wants us to break up so we dont have to care for each other, which really hurts bc I want us to find a way to make it work. If you're being dragged down by your partner, it could be due to cheating, or emotional abuse, or a lack of support. yesterday she said dating isnt working for either of us, the things that we need to change are things that cant chnange. You are helpful to them by being there when they need you. Friends are pretty intuitive in that they know immediately when something isn't right. If so, you might get what's known as a tension headache from all the heated emotions. Understand that put-downs are a reflection of the other person's insecurity and get support from trusted confidantes. I hope you found your way out and ability to stay out. We are thinking of you and wishing you and your partner the very best! Im worried that I put myself as his crutch unintentionally and that Im not helping him although he says I do. She changed everything, she made me comfortable, like Ive found someone so much like me; melancholic, with same tastes and so. But youre so young and its not very obvious but so many people go through this at some point in their lives because life truly is pretty messed up. She can realize what she lost later and change then, or they can do something dramatic which will be out of your hand anyways. I used to be able to help her cheer up and have a good time with her whenever she was sad but now,I cant do anything without getting an attitude from her or saying something stupid. I really hope that it is it. I have tried to leave her but she threatens to end her life and goes absolutely bonkers. Step down, itll make both of you happier long term. Life was perfect. She has issues with everyone including mine and her family. Its very common, but you must break the cycle. I have been dealing with a depressed girlfriend for the last 3 months. Now dont get me wrong, I get shes depressed and I feel for her, but I used to never have outbursts in my relationship period, and by now, 8 years in, the only way to make her stop taking all of her aggressive-depression(not that shed get violent, but yell on the most absurd things)/anxieties on me is to stoop down to her level and shout back, which then makes me feel like a jerk, she (almost) never say sorry, and for everytime she yells at me, somehow at the end I have to apologize or shell frown at me forever (claiming everything is fine, but obviously is it) Especially when theyre attractive they can just bounce around from bf to bf. 2023 BDG Media, Inc. All rights reserved. she is unhappy with dating. she undergoing medications and therapy but nothing could help her. After everything I did, I have been there every single day, sharing my life with her, and pushing her away from this disease. You mention that your girlfriends medication does not seem to be helping her. This could mean adding individual and/or group therapy to her treatment regimen, trying a new therapeutic approach, or making a change to her medication. Please know you are not alone. He occasionally took me out shopping saying it was my treat for putting up with him but when we got to where we were going he wouldnt treat me, one time he left me in the metro centre (Newcastle uk) alone with no money, when we got home he always wanted sex, I never wanted to but allowed him to make him happy. She doesnt like me going out to see my friends, she gets inconsolable whenever I do anything that doesnt involve her, even if I tell her about it weeks in advance. Software Full Name: Adobe Premiere Pro 2023. I know she deals with her own issues and Ive known for quite some time, but I see it more often now. She still will randomly text me I love you! The odd time but the girl I felt secure with seems to have left her conscience. I dunno maybe thats just me. Youve shown your love for her and she knows that. It may be time to step back and focus on yourself. She says its her medication but shes been on it since the age of 15 and shes 45 now, Im 42 I knew I had a little depression here and there and a bit of self destructive I dont want to go to work kinda lazy crap going on. We list further resources on this page:https://www.goodtherapy.org/in-crisis.html, If you would like to get in touch with a therapist, you can search our directory for mental health professionals in your area: goodtherapy.org/find-therapist.html. i was depressed when i was about 15-17 years old, i tried to end it at one point but after some events in my life i realized i had so much more to live for and there is always someone with a worse situation. Me and my LDR girlfriend were originally together for 7 months, then took a break for 3, and now we are back together. As I read your comments I am beginning to understand what my boyfriend feels. THIS MORNING WITH ALL YOUR WEIGHT TIED TO MY NECK AND YOUR DRAGGING ME DOWN, DRAGGING ME DOWN DRAGGING ME DOWN, DRAGGING ME DOWN I GOT . No one feels superior or inferior to the other." She says she feels okay when she clearly doesnt, when I give her a hug during this time, she tenses up, keeps shaking her head, and really hates herself for the way she is. Do you guys fight all the time? I always stopped everything to help her, to stay hours remind her how she is incredible. Dry spells happen a lot. Also, it is very important that a psychiatrist, and not a general practitioner, be managing her medication. I always tell her I enjoy how she is my first thought when i wake up and the last. And also I realised that people dont like sad people. So it can really, truly suck when you realize your relationship is dragging you down. Hi everyone, To see a list of mental health professionals practicing in your area, simply enter your ZIP code here: We are in the office Monday through Friday from 8:00 a.m. to 4:00 p.m. Mountain Time, and our phone number is 888-563-2112 ext 3. Ways it can drag you down is a daily necessity depressed person is call... I missed her, but she pushed me away and I got up! I felt secure with seems to have left her conscience me away and I got fed up from.... Sounds like you rejecting the last 3 months focus on yourself deals with her own if! I felt secure with seems to have left her conscience to help, try! Likely cheating already, I see how bad it could get for of. Tea/Cuddles and sex for the last battle with depression those are the moments you should be on! You and your partner the very best hope you found your way out and ability to stay remind! Listen to music and entertainment is a daily necessity its a natural instinct.. Good Luck! you and partner... 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